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Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in Elfwood Wank's LiveJournal:

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Friday, January 25th, 2008
4:07 pm
[my_art_space]
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007
12:22 am
[kynth]
It seems to me that Elfwood has become little more than an ego-stroking excercise in self-glorifacation for it`s creator.

Current Mood: amused
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
5:04 pm
[akeyla]
Thaily had me pointed out to this place.
And I come with a very significant self analysis on the rule,recently used by ERB on my artwork

Art on Elfwood must be 100% original to the artist.

(blimey, they thought that the real Cicadae wings I had on a sculpture and that I had stated "bought from an artist who sells them on ebay" could have been genetcially made/or grown on the back of the artist)

so, I took a good hard look at the whole sculpture and all my work and made a list of WHOM I had all thefted and what was not my own on the work.
Godness beware, it is so much!

Also, this text is a very good sample for all of you, it has been properly translated to English, you know, foreign words are not allowed in the decripts


Colmar, one of a kind hand togheter setted artwork by Akeyla, AKA Barbara Utzinger (translated from Greek "the stranger" Utzinger), using the original artwork of:

-black wire mark FLORAL(translates Flower) by Migros, Zurzach

-Budget Tinfoil by Migros, Basel

-Original Super sculpey from ebay seller XY who must have it from sculpey.com

-bits of white Sculpey, from Pearls in San Francisco who must have it from Sculpey.com

-bits of black Fimo Soft from RIMA craft store in Saarbrucken(Saarbrucken = bridges over the Saar) who must have it from Faber

-two glass eyes from Wundertüte Zurzach(transtlated magic bag Zurzach), who must have them from Glorex

-Silver wire from Migros, mark DEKO (which means decoration), Zurzach

-Black and green Acrylic paint from "Künstler Acryl" (translated artist Acrylic) from RIMA Saarbrucken(Saarbrucken = bridges over the Saar)

-Eberhard Antikgold powder (tranlated Eberhard antique gold eberhard Faber) from RIMA Saarbrucken(Saarbrucken = bridges over the Saar)

-Pelikan Prismacolor GoldGrün (translated Pelican Prismacolor Gold Green) from Leib und Gut, Zurich (translates Body and Goods, Zurich)

-Cicadae wings from ebay seller XY who must have them from China. Wings are HANDGROWN by their own Cicadae

-Common house oven brand GAGGENAU, source unknown as it was bought before I was born.

-Tools have no name but where bought on the flea market in Basel, Petersplatz(the peters place) on Saturday and Barfüssterplatz(the bare-footing place) on every second Wednesday

-Paper in the background is A2 aquarellpaper bought from Papyrus(which is egypt for a plant used for paper) in Basel. They must have it from the firm Antalis




(I am just trying to find humor in one of those points that have seriously miffed me these days... )
I hope realisation may hit you as it did me, you see, everything in this list is not a 100% my own...
Everyone who made this IS an artist. So, very frankly, that artwork IS NOT MY OWN A 100%. Please bear with me, I will go and ask them their permission. See you back in 15 years....

Colmar, the not
100% artwork of mine can be found here


Current Mood: deheheheeh...now WTF?
Friday, September 15th, 2006
10:59 pm
[lukadia]
LOL COMMUNITY PROMO SPAMMERS
CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!

Current Mood: Internet Popular! At Last!
Monday, August 28th, 2006
1:53 pm
[lukadia]
HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY MY TALLEST HEYYYYY
HEY GUYS

I AM WORKING ON A COMIC BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO THE DRAWING SO I NEED ONE OF YOU TO DO IT FOR ME.

MY BOOK IS GONNA BE GENIUS I TELL YOU. I AM WELL KNOWN FOR MY TALENT SO BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I'M ONLY ASKING FOR A COLLABORATOR AS A FAVOR TO YOU LITTLE PEOPLE.

SO YEAH. EMAIL ME RIGHT NOW!

...

I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN ALL OF YOU. I THOUGHT YOU WERE AS MATURE AND SERIOUS ABOUT ART AS I AM BUT CLEARLY YOU ALL SUCK. HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY INTEGRITY. I AM AN HONEST BUSINESSMAN WITH NO INTENT TO CHEAT ANYBODY OUT OF THE ROYALTIES. I AM ENTITLED TO YOUR TALENTED ASSISTANCE AND I WANT IT NOW! I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY STORY! SO DRAW IT FOR ME OR I'M GOING TO KILL YOUR FAMILY!

WHY HASN'T ANYONE RESPONDED? STUPID HATERS!!! WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME? IS IT BECAUSE YOU ARE JEALOUS? HA HA I BET YOU ARE ALL REPLYING NOW. YOU ARE REPLYING, RIGHT? HURRY UP, WE HAVE TO GET STARTED ON THIS THING RIGHT AWAY.

...

OKAY SERIOUSLY YOU'D BETTER REPLY WITHIN THE NEXT HALF HOUR OR I'M GOING TO HOLD MY BREATH. AND THEN POST AGAIN. AND THE NEXT TIME I WON'T BE HALF AS NICE.

PS - THIS IS NOT SPAM. ALL YOU HATERS STEP OFF.
Wednesday, December 21st, 2005
11:56 pm
[delitescent]
I'm sick of people saying things like "It's a fairy (or whatever), it's not supposed to have realistic human anatomy". That's all good and well if that's the effect the artist had intended to do, not if they really were trying for realistic human anatomy and failed. If realism is what an artist was aiming for but failed and someone points it out, then the above is a really, really stupid thing to say in their defense. Why they can't just admit they need to work on their anatomy, or whatever they are having trouble with, I don't know.

Point that out to them and you're one of those mean people who are "just jealous" of their incompetence. But they're not going to listen to you, oh no. They're not going to let you CRUSH THEIR DREAMS with your raging jealousy and small mind. No, they're just going to rant about it elsewhere in the bosom of their supportive (hugs squeeze I lubs yoo you're soooo talented) friends, and tell everyone how they don't really care what you think. No really, they don't. Really.
Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
11:58 pm
[delitescent]
Why?
Maybe I missed something but who declared Elfwood to be sole platform for showing art? I see so many comments from people on the Elfwood livejournals which pretty much amount to them wanting to put all their art on Elfwood, and when they can't, they whine that the rules are unfair and should be changed so that they can stick anything they like up there.

I paint things other than fantasy art. That art doesn't fit the Elfwood rules, so I don't submit it there. I can't see why some people don't want to do the same. It's as if their whole art lives revolve around Elfwood.

Someone complained that he would have to spend many hours working on a painting he's not really interested in just to keep his quota of clear fantasy up. Why would anyone do that? Would it not make more sense to just wait until you create something you really want to, that also fits in with the Elfwood rules, and then submit that? I really don't udnerstand this kind of mentality.

I've also seen comments in people's journals like "It's not really a fantasy picture (and wasn't meant to be) but I want to post it on Elfwood so I'll just add some pointy ears". Why is it so important to some people to have everything up on Elfwood? Maybe everyone else is getting huge publishing deals from there and I just got left out. *sigh*
Thursday, October 13th, 2005
2:55 pm
[dinogrrl]
So wait...um...what?
So liek, I thought I'd be helpful and volunteer for FanQ modship :D. This being back at like September 26th or something.

I get an email back (unfortunately I didn't save it. Bah) on October 7th or 8th saying that no, they don't need me because they already have enough volunteers, thanks anyway.

So I'm thinking, okay then, that's the same answer I've gotten like, all the other eleventy times I've ever volunteered, but I guess that's okay. I toddle on over to Elfwood to have a gander at that day's (Oct 8th) mod choices. And being the good Dino that I am, I read the news.

What does /that day's/ news say?

"Sat Oct 8 18:12:35 2005

Moderators
We have enough Wyvern and SF&F art volunteers at this point, but we're still in need of moderators for FanQuarter."



So was that email basically saying 'you suck lolz!' (aka: you don't fit the requirements for whatever reason, or we just don't like you for whatever reason to begin with)?
Naturally I was a bit miffed. If I didn't fit the requirements, why didn't they tell me WHY? So I could, you know, FIX IT.

So now I'm rather irritated at being lied to (is this anything new?) and going to throw a hissy-fit and tear down my galleries the next chance I get. Or something equally stupid and immature. Or not (because I'm a lazy ho).

Current Mood: lolz
Thursday, September 22nd, 2005
9:00 pm
[lukadia]


MY REPLYCollapse )

I feel like I'm playing Drama Chicken here. Still, even if I lose, at least it'll be funny.
Saturday, September 17th, 2005
4:10 pm
[lukadia]
Sent to Elfwood Support:

Hi, I'm suspended for the Real Name policy, and was told to contact support with a photo of my ID.

Here it is:



You might notice I did not censor my address. This is because the stalker already knows that address. I recieved a box of used sex toys and voodoo dolls in the mail shortly before I moved out of that house, leaving no forwarding address.

I can't believe I was ever naive enough to submit to such a dangerous site policy as Elfwood's Real Name rule. I won't make the mistake again. I would rather lose an art gallery than place myself in danger.

Feel free to do whatever's appropriate with this information.
Wednesday, September 14th, 2005
2:09 pm
[lukadia]
...
MY BUNNIES KILLED AN ENTIRE COMMUNITY.

Your message submitted to the moderated community elfwoodrant has been rejected by a moderator of that community.

Please note that replies to this email are not sent to the community's moderator(s). If you would like to discuss the reasons for your entry's rejection, you will need to contact a moderator directly.

This is the message you submittedCollapse )

-------------

This was a repost of a rant that was baleeted (No given reason, but I suspect the excuse was the small photograph of cute bunnies image I failed to LJ-cut in accordance with the rules). The community mods then decided to moderate submissions to avoid future bunnies unpleasantness.

I reposted the rant without the bunnies rulebreaking content, but it was rejected (as I suspected, Flopsy and Mopsy were just patsies!).

Howell's submitted rant on the moderation ruleCollapse )

-------------

His rant was also rejected, presumably for for being too critical of the rules, too sarcastic, or too ranty. I bet he got his email around the same time I got mine--weeks after submitting it. I can only guess how many OTHER rants on the matter got baleeted as well for having illicit bunnies sarcasm, but I'm guessing there were a few. And then I woke up today to find THIS on my friend page:



AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA!

I figured once the community became moderated, there would be nothing allowed through the censors, and the community would wither and die from lack of content. And I was right. I even totally predicted the whine community's collapse on the info page for elfwood_wank.

-------------

A Final Thought:

First they came for the off-topic, and I didn't speak up because I was not off-topic.

Then they came for the sarcastic, and I did not speak up because I was not sarcastic.

Then they came for the bunnies uncut image macros, and I did not speak up because I was not posting uncut image macros.

Then they came for those who criticized the rules, and I did not speak up because I was not a critic of the rules.

And finally they came for me, because I was so lame and toed the line so well that they couldn't get rid of me any other way.
2:09 pm
[flasher]
elfwoodrant is dead! Long live Elfwood_wank!


Guess a rant journal just wasn't worth keeping around once they outlawed ranting

Current Mood: amused
Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
9:05 pm
[lordwank]
sent directly to teh l0rds of ELFWOOD
This was sent straight through the 'Contact Us' form. I was surprised, but shouldn't have been, when I submitted it (under the name of Syric), only to be stopped by the RED TEXT OF DOOMY DOOM. Yea, it stood before me, declaiming in the voice of the gods:

At least first and last (real) name, please:

Although set back, I was not foiled, oh no. I swiftly fabricated a surname- Rednar- and sent it into the maw of the hideous beast, which devoured it with a satisfying belch. What follows is the content of that message, sent under the topic of 'Praise and appreciation'.

-------

Congratulations, Elfwood. You have reached the pinnacle of mental depravity.

I can't believe this. You have such a need to possess the ONE TROO AND LEGAL NAME of EVERY USER that you have gone so far as to refuse to post their art until they send you proof of ID? How are they supposed to prove it? Mail your their Social Security card? Scan their drivers' license? I would put down money that at least 4 out of 10 users have not posted their real names, but names that SOUND real, like Lisa Johnson. You pass those names by without so much as entertaining the possibility that they might not be real, selecting only those with bizarre names placed there for joke purposes. You'd never think of asking a Joe Smith to show you proof that that moniker is indeed their real name. And your suggestions for ID stink heavily of possible identity theft or fraud. Why on God's green Earth would someone send you their SS card?! WHY SHOULD THEY NEED TO? WHY?!

I demand answers, as do countless others on the mighty Intarweb, as to why you must be privy to our ONE TWU NAMES.

Should you ignore this plea for information, may you forever be condemned to playing Go Fish in the eleventyfifth level of Hell.

(and no, that isn't my name up there, so no searching for my phone number and leaving prank messages, kthxbai.)

NO! WAIT! I LIED. Plz forgive me. Here is my scanned drivers license with my name on it, confirming my identity. Sorry for the things I said :( Really.

http://xs45.xs.to/pics/05363/liscense.png

-------


(Luka, u rock, kthxpie)

Current Mood: silly
1:34 pm
[lukadia]
x-posted to my personal journal...
From : <moderators@elfwood.lysator.liu.se>
Sent : Tuesday, September 6, 2005 3:04 PM
To : ------------i@hotmail.com
Subject : Elfwood Moderation: Ticket [443424]



Houlihan Jefferson 'Schizophrenic Lesbian' Grouebenhebber III, your Elfwood
ticket #445219 was processed by a moderator.

This is the result:


* Sorry, we cannot accept to publish your account update due to PROBLEMS with
you or your user details (name, age, bio, etc)

* We're sorry, but we can't publish your account, because we're still not sure
this is your real name.
Please contact Support with proof of your real name in
form of some type of ID such as drivers license, birth certificate, social
security card, student card or any other type of ID with your name on it. You're
welcome to edit out any sensitive info. Until you do that, we will not process
any tickets.
Elfwood Ticket #445219 was rejected and nothing will be published!
This was decided by a moderator at Tue Sep 6 17:06:15 2005


...


Woe!
3:09 pm
[thaily]
Barking up the wrong tree.
Hi, first post here.
I've been on Elfwood a while now, couple of years. Lost a number of images when they "combined" the galleries, not sure if they're still in Limbo somewhere or if they're gone. I didn't really pay that much attention to the changes becuase well, the majority of the Elfwood people seem to be art-thieving wannabe-anime artist teenagers or SAHM's. Like for example DA it's full of artistic mutual masturbation = You say something nice about my art and I'll say something nice about your art.
Helpful, polite critism is scorned entirely and so there's none to be had. Then there's the "This doesn't meet my expectations of a [fantasy creature]" crowd. Oi.

But what I really wanted to bitch about today was tree's.
Is it me or is Lothlorien originally a forest? Then what's up with the anti-tree attitude of the people approving the artwork. I tried uploading my Porcupine Tree and it was omitted from the upload without mention of why. I thought maybe they just made a mistake so I tried uploading it again, again nothing and no mention of why they wouldn't upload it. After mailing them and asking I was told it wasn't fantasy enough. O_o
So what are forests made of in fantasy lands, gumdrops and keychains?

But whatever, I don't have a problem with not uploading the Porcupine Tree if it's considered too off-topic. That must mean there's no trees Elfwood (makes ya wonder what wood they're referring to though), well, except for this one. And uhm, this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one.


Hrmmm.
Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
4:41 pm
[dithering_idium]
Art-holics Anonymous
I signed up for Elfwood some time ago. I thought it would be a great place to store images online. There were some silly rule sin place about how you had to have an already-active fantasy account before you could post anything to the sci-fi or fan-art sections.

I thought to myself... "I have to DO fantasy art before I can post anything that I REALLY draw?"

Then came my first month-to-two-month wait for a piece to be approved for my gallery.

...

I don't think I even remembered to delete my account with them when I left.
1:41 pm
[lukadia]
ELFWOOD WANK OF LOVE.
My post to the Elfwood rant journal, pointing out that the sarcasm rule made no sense, was deleted. I have been crying and taking all the pills in my medicine cabinet ever since, but it will not stop the howling depression within me.

I'm pretty sure it was because I didn't lj-cut the bunny picture I posted to make a point about Elfwoodrant's hostility towards non-happy posts, but the real reason was probably that I was criticizing the rules and that my post was funny (FUNNY IS ASSHATERY WHICH WILL NO LONGER BE TOLERATED). The community rules say you're allowed to criticize its rules, but the maintainer deletes anything she considers "asshatery," such as when threads go off topic. No wonder she's whining that it's hard to moderate the community.

EffWad's rant community is the best rant community EVER! You're welcome to "blow off steam" and complain about the rules, as long as you're never more than "occasionally" sarcastic and never commit the dreaded "asshatery." Or else BALEETED!

Sarcastic comments will be deleted. Arguments will be deleted. Off-topic threads will be deleted. This, according to the community rules, is "minimal moderation."

EDIT:

I'm toying with reposting the rant with an lj-cut this time, to see if it stays up. Well never mind that. I fixed it to be TOS-abiding, but my post is being screened. What are the bets it NEVER gets approved?

COULD MY VOICE HAVE BEEN SILENCED FOR FAILING TO LJ-CUT A 30k IMAGE OF BUNNIES? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT!



The mods are also screening all comments on the Asshattery thread. I bet she doesn't allow anything I post to be displayed. To test this theory, I will now go and reply to anybody that addressed me and see how many of my replies show up.

I will keep taking these pills in hopes that my sorrow will end soon. The crying, it is uncontrollable.


EDIT: ELFWOOD-RANT IS NOW A MODERATED POSTING ATMOSPHERE, AND *ALL* COMMENTS HAVE BEEN DELETED AND TURNED OFF ON THE ASSHATTERY THREAD.
Monday, August 29th, 2005
1:49 am
[lukadia]
My first run-in with Elfwood being insane was the time I attempted to DESTROY ALL IT STOOD FOR with a shitty fantasy story and some porn that wasn't really porn.

Er, backing up a bit.

Free Angelfire pages each have an advertisement coded into the HTML, the content of said ad is based on the user's specified interests (cars, clothing, women, sex, exercise, music, and so on). The interests are to tailor the ads to the kind of crowd who will eventually view the page. Simple enough, yeah?

The problem is, I did not know that the ads were embedded in the HTML. They didn't stand out much from the meta tags in the text box where I did the raw html, though in truth I never thought about it in the first place. The code is automatically added when you save a page. It's something free website users learn to stop seeing, the embedded ads.

Well, my computer crashed. Or more accurately, the father of the household I was living with decided to reinstall the system without asking if anyone wanted to save their data off the computer first. He did this a couple of times, once deleting the original high-resolution copies of FIVE CHAPTERS OF KAGEROU. That's why they're so blurry on the site, incidentally.

Back to Angelfire. I saved the edited copies of the files off my website in order to move them to my new Wyvern's Library account. Again, I had not checked the files in an HTML editor first. I uploaded the files to the library as .htms, and that was that. No problems for a couple of days.

Then I get two emails from Elfwood. "Huh?" thinks I, "Comments already?" I open the first one and it's a CC of a complaint to Thomas, the head of Elfwood, from a Wyvern moderator (this is before the massive Moderator system, so I'm guessing there were only a few at the time). The exact context of the email was something like "USER (my name) HAS UPLOADED PORNOGRAPHIC AD CODE IN A STORY. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS THOMAS (THOMAS HELP ME I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK OMG)?" I forget if she deleted the stories before sending me this...

Hold up a second. Pornographic?

Did I mention that Angelfire is an all-ages webhost? They don't DO porn. Where the fuck is this person seeing porno on that page? The worst I ever saw in my 5 years of Angelfire free hosting was a bikini-clad weight loss ad, which (while offensive to the soul) can hardly be called obscene. I can only guess she looked at the code and saw "sex" as one of my listed interests and assumed based on that.

The next email was from Thomas to the moderator, a reply. Also CC'd to me--and this is where the crazy starts. I don't have the original email, so I'm recreating it from memory.

"Dear (moderator),

I can't believe (my name) would do something like this on a free service I provided out of the goodness of my heart, but I fully expected it to come to this some day, since there are People who have been trying very hard to bring my Elfwood down (ok that's pretty close to an exact quote) and I'm not taking it anymore. The way They always try to abuse my project makes me so mad, I'm going to put in a rule about this so that no one tries to use Elfwood to advertise pornography again.

I'm frankly disgusted and saddened etc etc They just want to destroy the community etc etc I have put in some code so that these ads won't display anymore but this user should be warned that if they ever try to abuse Elfwood like this again they're OUT OF ELFWOOD PERMANENTLY."

The ominous "they're out to get me" theme was heavy and wanky in his email--he talked like I was trying to hack the site. I was so humiliated and sorry that I can't even remember if I sent them my email explaining what had actually happened. I think I did. But either way, they never replied to me or addressed me in any way after that, and it was the last time I ever posted a story on Elfwood.

And so that's how come Elfwood has a written rule about no banner advertisments on user pages.
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